Nicknames: John John, AgentZero, Karl the Derelict, Stumpy, Marticus Scourge of Arcadia, Ernesto, Philip T. Wifflebottom, Big Daddy Kane, Sisqo's little brother, Elijah the Retard, Pete the Cat Hunter, Hugh Kwok, The BTK Killer, or Linda Beans
Weight: 186lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal.
Race: Which is the one with the big dicks? Blacks? Oh thats not me, I'm white.
Eye Color: Bobby Brown
Hair Color: Whitney Houston Brown
College: The University of Florida.
Marital Status: Single. That's right ladies lucky you huh huh huh ... ahh you do not care.
Piercings: Tons cause I am such a unique and complex person. I express myself through my body modifications. I have huge holes in my ears and my dick is pierced. I really want to get back at my parents, and I am too scared to go gay.
Favorite Foods: Kosher foods, I only trust Jews.
Favorite Drink: Milk and Alcohol not always together.
Favorite Movie: The R Kelly Sex Tape
Favorite Music: Rap and country. Holla y'all!
Favorite Musican: $.50
Favorite Fiction Book: Of Human Bondage by William Somerset Maugham.
Favorite Non-Fiction Book: Daybreak by Nietzsche.
Favorite Sport to Play: Basketball.
Favorite Sport to Watch: Football.
Turn-ons: Hot Girls. Oh and of course midgets. They make my dick look huge.
Turn-offs: Ugly girls, fat girls, and fat ugly girls.
Pets: Does the hooker I have chained to my radiator count?
How many kids do you want: Depends do I have to pay to support them?
Who do you go to for advice: Corky from "Life Goes On"
Favorite Greek Mythological Character: Icarus... no wait Prometheus... there are so many do I have to choose?
Favorite Spot to be touched while making out: The Penis
Favorite Fictional Character: Tyler Durden
Ever tell a racist joke: Of course you stupid WOP.
Where do you want to live: The Playboy Mansion
What will you name your daughter: Chastity
What will you name your son: Penis
Who has it easier, guys or girls: Hermaphrodites
Cry: Anal sex
Peanut Butter: Anal sex
How many tattoos do you have? Tons, wait do genital warts count as tattoos?
Do you have a crush? OMG Yes!
Have you sent a poem to someone? Yes, well some of it rhymed but not much does with stupid cunt.
Would you tell your friend he/she is getting fat? Yes, but I prefer the medical term "morbidly obese".
Would you make out with a monkey for $5000? They are paying $5,000 for that now!
Would you be on Fear Factor knowing you had to eat that nasty shit? Are you talking about Joe Rogan?
What time is it now? Hammer time bitch.