May 26, 2005

Corky 4 Prez

What? You want me to tell you my greatest fantasy? My most awesomest of dreams. A dream so near and dear to my heart that I dare not mention it less my words cause my great desire to never come to fruition.

Ok, what the fuck I will. My dream is to one day see a retard play a scientist, doctor, businessman, coach, detective, president, pope, ect. in a movie, on stage, or in my bedroom. The setting is not important, what is important is a full on down syndromed tard in a position of authority. People treating him as if he was normal, and giving him the respect due to his position. Him giving orders in an authoritative manner, with a slight look of self-importance on his retarded face. My god I think that would be the funniest thing in the history of the world.

In the hopes of seeing my dream come true, I wrote an email to Chris Burke. The retarded actor who played Corky on the hit sitcom "Life Goes On". Here is the email I actually wrote to him.

Hi Chris! Let me just start by saying that I am a huge fan of your work. You entertained so many with your performance as Corky on "Life Goes On". You really were a trailblazer for mentally disabled performers.

I would really like to see you continue in this capacity. Maybe push the envelope a little more. I think that you really could do a great job playing the role of a scientist, doctor, or even a captain of industry. I think it would be important for people to see that just because someone is mentally challenged, like yourself, that does not stop them from being whatever they want to be.

The culture of failure that many try to impose upon the mentally disabled is appalling. Why should they have to settle? Greatness is within everyone's reach as long as they work hard and believe in themselves, and you Chris are the greatest testament to that.

I really hope that someone casts you in a more dignified role. Who knows maybe one day I will get to see you play the President of the United States in a major motion picture!

Best of luck, and keep up the singing career. I think you could do a lot of good in that industry too. Who knows maybe you could make TRL!

I think a true "triple threat" is someone who can act, sing, and is retarded. America is ready to accept a retarded pop icon into our ample collective bosom. Where is the retard that will take this thrown?

posted by John 9:32PM