Know Thyself

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge."
Charles Darwin

  A lot is made about people believing in themselves. That the secret to succeeding in life is believing in yourself. But, when I look around I don't see a lack of confidence, I see an excess of it. At least an excess of the wrong type of confidence. There is a saying the only thing worse than an idiot is an idiot with initiative. These idiots gain their initiatives through their inability to understand themselves and their abilities.

The girl with rolls of fat coming out of her halter-top. The group of guys screaming "I'm Rick James bitch!" then giggling profusely. And of course everyone's favorite, the assholes who keep sharing their moronic views with the class. All these people have the same thing in common, which is an inability to recognize that they are disgustingly fat, very unfunny, or painfully stupid ect.

Luckily, I am here to let all of you in on some of the misconceptions you have about yourself. Women and men have different common misconceptions. I'll start with the ladies.

You are not funny! - I don't care if all your girlfriends laugh at the things you say. They are not funny either, so they could not possibly accurately rate your comedic abilities. Most guys are not funny too, and if they say that you are funny then they are fucking stupid or trying to have sex with you, probably both. There are only a couple girls in the whole world I would consider funny (Sarah Silverman), and they are professional comedians. The best you can hope for is to be mildly amusing, with a good sense of humor.

You are not nice! - Just because you don't talk about people behind their backs (much), and you don't say mean things to others, this does not make you a nice person. Most girls believe they are "nice" some even believe they are "too nice". Letting people push you around and take advantage of you does not make you nice, it makes you a wuss. There are only a small percentage of girls that actually have a genuinely kind and sweet nature. The rest are not in a category. Sometimes acting nice, at other times being a bitch. Most likely this is you. Sorry your character is not outstanding.

You are not that pretty! - Society makes an issue about girls who have poor views of their physical appearance. Fuck those girls! If you are an ugly girl you have two choices either get a shitload of surgeries, or deal with it. Take all that pain and shame you feel and channel it into achieving something. A lot of girls have an inflated view of their physical appearance due to guys continually building them up, in the hopes that they can pillage their stink holes. Maybe that one "gorgeous" guy did have sex with you. But guess what he probably thought (correctly) that he could nail you without much effort, and he was drunk. He was the exception for you not the rule, get over it.

You can't dance! - All girls think they can dance. Twisting your hips and sticking out your ass is not dancing. Sure, it is hot, but that is beside the point. Most of you don't move with much rhythm. You cannot perform a real dance step and, you lack grace in your motions. If people didn't drink at clubs, and all sexual desires were removed, and what you call dancing was accurately evaluated. I am confident the absurdity of it all would cause a mass panic, and the resulting death and destruction would be worse then a "Great White" concert.

Alright on to the men (damnit I sound like a fag). Guys are competitive by nature and pretty good at knocking other guys down, if they feel they have an inflated sense of self. Yet this still does not stop guys from developing misconceptions about themselves.

You are not funny! - Just like the girls, most guys seem to think they are funny. Ok a couple of your dork friends seem to chuckle at your jokes, and you are constantly cracking yourself up with your "witty" observations. This does not make you funny. The truly funny have to fight back a strong urge to smash your face in, when you make your lame attempts at humor. Also reciting funny quotes does not make YOU funny.

You are not that good at drinking! - Getting really drunk does not make you good at drinking. The really big drinkers don't get drunk. It is called tolerance, and those of you who have had the misfortune of building a strong one know the pains both financial and physical that you must go through to actually get drunk. It is fun to talk shit about how much you can drink, but when you start believing that you are a serious drinker, you are deluding yourself. Take a trip to Russia, the Mecca of drinking, and see if you can hang.

You can't fight! - Face it you don't know how to fight. Bench all you want and pump up that chest, but when it comes to fighting that extra 10 lbs of mass doesn't do much. Power, speed, reach, and natural aggression are more important than how much you are benching when you are actually fighting. Most likely, you lack most of these traits.

Mark Twain said, "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure". Obviously, this is an exaggeration. But with ignorance and confidence, you can at least live a mediocre life, which is evident by the large number of assholes who end up living your typical middle-class lifestyle. It may be even possible to succeed with just some ignorance and a fuck-load of confidence.

But if you really want to live to your fullest potential, you have to have an understanding of yourself and your abilities. This is where genuine confidence is derived from. Intelligence, passion, and balls are what make people a success.