He is Just Not That Into You.
He is just not that into you... and he should not be if you believe the shit in this book. "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" is a book written by Greg Behrendt. Look at this asshole. Does he look like he is an expert on relationships? He looks like a cross between John Kerry and Sting.
This douche makes four main points in his moronic book. I will present devastating critiques for each.
- A guy should be completely enraptured with a girl, and constantly consumed with her.
- Men are not complicated and their motives and circumstances are easily predictable.
- It is never ok for a girl to call first or ask out a guy.
- All women are perfect, and the only thing they need to do is love themselves.
One of the basic premises of this book is that if a guy does not aggressively pursue a girl then he is "not that into you". The author applies this to every relationship, regardless of its level of development.
If a relationship is just in its beginning stages and the guy is not aggressively pursuing a girl what does this mean? Well it is common sense he is not "that" into her. This does not mean that he is not into her; it just means that he is not enraptured with her, yet. Now what kind of guy would display this kind of behavior? Probably one that is not desperately lonely and pathetic. A guy that has experience in dealing with the opposite sex is not likely to immediately fall for some girl. He could be attracted to her, and feel they have a connection. Does this mean that she should consume his every thought? Is that the level of attention girls should want from a guy that they are just getting to know? If not then why would you listen to the advice that he should never be too busy to call you? Why should you be the most important thing in the world to him? What kind of man is he if he is so easily conquered?
Applying this advice to an already established relationship is idiotic. All relationships have ups and downs. If the relationship is in a down cycle and the guy creates some space for himself that is smart in my opinion. If you want to force yourself down his throat, go ahead. Have a talk with him, and bitch him out for not calling you all the time. You will be alone like you should be.
"Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are." This is a completely moronic statment. The history of human thought centers on man trying to understand their purpose and drives. We have developed religions, destroyed religions, and made huge strives in science to increase our understanding of the physical universe just so we can better understand ourselves. The behavior of man is hardly predictable, and causality is a incredibly tricky proposition.
Even if he is just referring to men in relation to sexual behavior, it is still a stupid thing to say. Through the break through of evolutionary thinking, we are just now beginning to understand the biological factors that affect our sexual behavior. The conscious reasons we devise for our behavior though are incredibly complex. The study of psychology is still in an infant stage of understanding. We have not even begun to name all of our subconscious drives let alone understand them. Not to mention the affects that our environment, learning, and experiences have on our behavior. If you really believe that "men are not complicated", you are fucking idiot.
He says that every girl is great, and the only thing they need to do is love themselves. Well he is a fucking tool, and trying to sell books to dumb fat chicks. I on the other hand am completely objective. Guess what ladies you are not all great. In fact, some of you are stupid fucking bitches. I doubt this is news to you though. Who actually believes that every girl is great? How can you possibly listen to the advice of someone who seems to think every female is perfect?
He tells girls that it is never ok for them to call a guy first or ask him out. That is a big relief for insecure girls, who fear making themselves vulnerable in any way. If you are a self-assured woman, though why can't you call a guy or ask him out? According to the douche author guys do not like it, and will not respect you if you do. This is not true. However, it is true that most guys would not respect you if you just throw yourself at them. To quote 2pac "I don't want it if it is that easy". I am not talking about just in a sexual sense; I am also talking about trying to force intimacy. Just like a girl, if a guy smells desperation, he is turned off. This does not mean a girl cannot initiate the contact. It is quite easy to do it and not appear desperate; guys do it all the time. If a girl does it right she gains more respect from a guy, because she dispensed with a lot of bullshit games. It makes her special, and should be in the repertoire of any girl who wants to be a true player.
What kind of person would write a book like this?
He has obviously fallen into the friend category with many girls. He was the sympathetic ear for their problems with guys. His inability to get these girls to fall for him, while they continually lusted after the guys they were complaining about fostered a great bitterness in him. To revenge himself against those normal males who are not complete tools and get more chicks than him, he started spreading his moronic propaganda. He has been trying to convince girls for years that only douches like himself can make them happy. He has refined his arguments and gotten a large platform (both literally and figuratively in Oprah) from which to launch them. However, any reasonable person who examines what he is trying to sell sees that it is nothing but bullshit.
What kind of person would "love" this book?
Most girls unfortunately have an affinity for romantic sentiments. Girls who love this book are romantics. They feel like Carrie from Sex in the City "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." This speaks to the feeling some girls have that they want to lose themselves in a man, and this book promotes this romantic ideal. Whenever you lose yourself, it is just a form of intoxication, and like all intoxication, the euphoria it provides is not permanent. When you have an earnest desire to lose yourself, you show that you are a weak person. It is cheesy but you cannot achieve happiness unless you are happy with yourself. It is another discussion if happiness is a respectable goal in life.