July 27, 2005

Pickup Lines

Approaching a strange girl can be a daunting task, especially if she is conscious. Of course everyone knows the best way to get a girl interested in you, is to show her your diamonds, or your enormous dong, or if you are lucky enough to have one your enormous diamond studded dong.

However, those unfortunate souls who were unlucky enough to be born without diamonds or a large penis must rely on conversation starters or as they are known in the streets "pickup lines" to get a girl interested. I have decided to post my best pickup lines. Some I created myself. Feel free to use them. They work like 1000% of the time.

For a fat girl you have small tits.

I want to fuck you retarded. Then teach you how to read.

You're ugly and that fascinates me.

Hey would you like to buy me a drink?

Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hey your ass looks great with that necklace.

If I asked you to come home with me, would your answer be the same as it is to this question?

For a fat girl you sure don't sweat that much.

You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.

I want to fuck you like you owe me money. Then scour through your purse for change.

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me.

You look like the type of girl that makes a lot of bad decisions.

Hi, I like cake.

Baby if you had cancer I'd be your chemo.

Hey do you know who I am?

You know Captain will make it happen, but I'll cum on your face and never call you again.

Hi I'm John, but I also go by "nobody"... because nobody is perfect.

Hi I don't have AIDS.... HIV postive though.... yep H-I-V.... well ok then.

posted by John 10:08PM