January 18, 2005|
Yesterday was MLK day, and me and some friends went out drinking. It was cold for Florida last night; it got down to like 30. Most Floridians do not know how to dress for the cold, so when it does get cold they wear some stupid shit.
As we headed out for the night little did I know, that my friend and I were going to become Civil Rights heroes. Like Rosa Parks on that bus, we would seize our moment in history by standing up for all that is just and righteous.
Anyway we go to this bar, and we are hanging out at this table. There are two black guys at our table and we are joking with them about not enough blacks showing up to celebrate MLK Day. I look at the table next to ours, and start to laugh. Sitting there are four nerds, and two of them have these long scarves on. I tell my friend I have to go fuck with these guys, and I walk up to them.
Me: "Hey nice scarf. Where did you get it from?"
The guy tells me he got it in Sweden. My friend is Swedish, so I grab him and tell him these guys are Swedish. One of the nerds who looks like the male version of Lisa Loeb says.
MaleLisaLoeb: "I'm not Swedish. I'm American."
Me: "Really what were your relatives before that?"
Me: "So they must have had slaves then."
Friend: "You need to pay reparations to my black friends over there."
Me: "Yeah you son of a bitch. You can't get away with this. Pay reparations."
We shouted a few more things at the guy and eventually he gives in.
MaleLisaLoeb: "Ok what do they want."
BlackGuys: "A rum and coke and a gin and juice."
The guy ordered them drinks and put them on his tab. We badgered a guy into actually paying reparations. Tell me that does not honor Dr. King
We went to another bar, and we got a table there. The bar is full, so most people are standing. They keep putting their empty stuff on our table, and I keep knocking it off. This Arab guy (I think he was Arab) puts his full pitcher on the edge of our table, and starts talking to somebody. I figure I deserve reparations also, for what those bastards did to us on 9/11. I reach across the table grab his pitcher fill up our cups and put the pitcher back. He turns sees his pitcher is empty, and just stares at us. I am laughing my ass off. He does not say a thing he just gets very mad and stomps off.
Getting reparations is fun.
posted by John 10:34PM