Rock Star vs. Sports Star:
A Comparative Study On Getting Tang

For billions of years man has pondered one important question. Who has it better when in it comes to the ladies, a rock star or a sports star? To answer this question we have to look at the sexual life cycle of both.

High School:

The rock star is a social outcast. Largely ignored by his peers because of his tight fitting pants, and questionable hygiene. His shitty garage band brings him 2 girls of questionable appearance.

The sports star is well liked. He wins STATE for Christ's sake. He bangs a good portion of the cheerleading squad, the dance team, and a flag girl.

Advantage: Sports Star


The rock star does not go to college. He has to concentrate on his music, and have heated arguments with his step dad about getting a "real job". He starts playing the local bars, and gets a small following. He gets semi-regular poon from girls at his shows.

The sports star goes to college. Not one of those faggoty private schools (ahm Harvard), but a real one with a respectable athletics department. There he goes through more walls than asbestos. A conservative estimate would be 300+, if he doesn't double dip too much, or pull his groin that is.

Advantage: Sports Star

The Big Leagues:

Once the rock star makes it big he is on the Pussy Express, next stop Pound Town. The appeal of music is universal, so a rock star has groupies in all the important countries in the world. Rockin is the only thing a guy can do that will get tons of women wetter than a Mexican's back during lettuce season. For example, Vince Neil has gotten laid more then all the Congressional Medal of Honor winners combined. The rock star will be banging around 100 of the most beautiful women in the world every year.

Once the sports star reaches the pros he loses his harem of coeds. Most women are too busy waxing things to really care what a sports star does. Thus some of the women that approach him now will be more interested in his money and social standing, and will not just throw their vaginas in his face. He still has a ticket to the pussy buffet, but the spread is not as good.

Advantage: Rock Star


Eventually the rock stars popularity will fade, but he will always have female fans. Mothers and daughters for generations to come will be shaking their asses to his hits. He will always get at least some action from his music.

When the sports star retires women forget about him quickly. They hardly knew who he was when he was on top, now he is just a vague memory. Having been a sports star is still a great in with women, but it no longer guarantees him ass.

Advantage: Rock Star

In conclusion, the sports star dominates early, but the rock star catches and arguably passes him later on in life. The ideal situation would be to be a sports star, and then switch to a rock star. Jim McMahon came closest to accomplishing this.