Terri Schiavo Zen Master

That�s the big goal. To find a cure for knowledge.
- Chuck Palahniuk

  There is a great travestying occurring in our country and I am compelled to speak out on it. Terri Schiavo the greatest modern Zen master, is staging a brave hunger strike. This is obviously in protest of those who refuse to let her continue to practice her art.

Modern medicine does not recognize the extraordinary feat Master Schiavo has accomplished. She has cured herself of all knowledge and achieved the 7th level of retardation, more commonly known as nirvana. Science will tell you that she is "brain dead", oh how little they understand! Master Schiavo has turned off all the useless functions of her brain, and achieved a state of constant bliss. The amount of deep meditation and concentration (which science so crudely terms a "coma") she has exhibited to achieve this is incredible. Yogis in the Himalayan Mountains will beat their chests and cry out in envy when word of Master Schiavo's accomplishment reaches them.

It is well documented that Master Schiavo acknowledges with her eyes those who enter her hospital dojo. Oh, of course the master will not speak with her visitors. In her enlightened state, she must feel great contempt for the rest of us. The fact that she graces her visitors with any type of acknowledgment should be taken as a great honor, and not an invitation to prop her head up.

Whenever someone accomplishes something truly great there will always be detractors. Terri Schiavo's husband obviously jealous of his wife's 15 years of enlightened meditation has conspired with fiends involved in medical science to remove her feeding tube. What great disrespect for such a great master. How dare they expect Master Schiavo to degrade herself into eating food like some common whore! How dare they affect her supreme levels of blissful ignorance with the nuisances related to chewing and swallowing nutrients! Master Schiavo responded in the most noble of fashions. She refused to degrade herself and began her hunger strike. And the world has taken note of her plight.

I think a quote from Master Schiavo is important here "blughhh kluggg ffffffffaaaa". Now you may be wondering what does this mean. Ahh, you have much to learn in the ways of the great masters. This does not "mean" anything at all! That is the whole point! Master Schiavo has evolved beyond the point of expressing ideas in the form of words, like some common whore. The master has even progressed beyond having ideas. Her extreme level of understanding, is not understanding. Her great accomplishment in comprehension is one of not comprehending. Don't you see? She is physical embodiment of the highest form of humanity. Her being, single-handedly restores all faith in man.

We must not let these "doctors" who understand nothing of the matters of the spiritual nature of things and have greatly insulted Master Schiavo, continue their disrespect. Return Master Schiavo's feeding tube at once! Let her continue her great spiritual journey, and stop trying to force her to conduct herself in the manner consistent with that of a common whore.