Seducing Women Online

  I was surfing the World Wide Web, and I came across some websites charging guys for advice on how to seduce women online. I thought this was not right. I probably know more about the subject then they do, so I decided to write an article on it. Also, just like a fat drugged stripper I am giving it up for free.

What should a guy do after he gets a woman's e-mail address?

I like to send my online ladies anonymous emails advertising new and improved drugs for STDs, and wait and see if they respond. You can never be too safe.
There is one thing you should learn about women. They love constant attention. Since you are talking to her online you should probably give her double the attention. That means a constant stream of emails. Probably 5 or 6 a day. Each day increase your tone of urgency, and decrease the accuracy of your spelling and grammar. This lets her know you are a passionate person, and women love passion. Remember you want to be the only thing on her mind so flood that mailbox.

What should I say in my first message to her?

It is always good to start with some sort of joke. Usually one belittling a minority ethnic group will work.
Once you have broken the ice with the joke, make the message as personal as possible. Women love guys that open up. I suggest just opening up the dam right away, and letting loose with all your personal baggage. Let her know your insecurities, and freakiest desires. Tell her how often you masturbate. If you have had homoerotic fantasies, now is the time to let her know. She will be very impressed with your openness and immediately recognize the connection you just made with her.
Do not bother asking her about the minor details of her life. Instead, dive right into its most personal aspects. Ask her if she was molested as a child. To show her you care about her, question her mental health. Ask her if she has any suicidal thoughts or tendencies. After a deep message like this, your bond with her should be rock solid.

What if she doesn't respond to him?

Ahh she enjoys the chase huh. The old cat and mouse game. If she does not respond, she obviously requires more overt displays of affection and passion. Write her professing your undying love and commitment to her. Tell her you cannot live with out her. Tell her your passion is so great that her not responding to you makes you want to do her harm. Women love that. It lets them know that you care, and that you are a man of action.

What if she threatens to call the police?

Oh, she is a feisty little minx. Do not be deterred by Johnny Law. All women believe that love will conquer all, and this is just a test to see if you have the drive to land her. Tell her that no law either god's or man's can keep you from her. Tell her that you relish every obstacle in the way, because it only deepens your desire and love for her. Beg her to get a restraining order, because that will show you that you mean something to her.

What should a guy do when she asks to see a picture?

Women do not expect you to give them an actual picture of yourself. Just search the Internet for a picture of some male model and send her that. Don't worry about her getting the wrong idea. Women just want to see how resourceful you are.

What if she isn't attractive in her picture?

Relax bud. It is pretty well established rule that women are much, much better looking in person than they are in their Internet pictures. If she looks a little ogreish and chunky in the picture. Just assume that it is bad lighting and she is much thinner now. Trust me.

What do I do once I get her phone number?

Verify that it is legitimate. Do this by calling and hanging up a few times.
When you call her for real, let her know that you cannot believe she actually gave you her number. This shows that you are appreciative. Make sure she knows that you like her in a sexual way. Tell her, her voice sounds sexy. Ask what she is wearing. Question the state of moisture in her panties. Also, inquire as to whether or not she is touching herself at the present point in time. These are the signals she needs to assure her that you do in fact want to stuff her box.

What should a guy do if a woman he is talking to online is nervous about meeting him in person?

Mmmm a timid temptress. Seducing her should be a pleasure.
First, do not play along with her timid games. Urgently suggest that you meet as soon as possible. Let her know that if you wait any longer to meet her you are liable to go crazy, and can not possibly be held accountable for your actions.
To put her more at ease tell her you have "a big surprise waiting for her". Women love surprises.
Some women might be nervous because they are scared to go out in public. To be safe assure her that you are taking her some place private, and dark.

What should a guy do once she agrees to meet him?

Heyyy-Ohhh! If a girl you meet online has agreed to meet you that means she is ready for you to fuck her. She is probably very comfortable with you and totally into you. What you need to do is just close the deal. Tell her you are going to take her to dinner or a party.
When you pick her up do not really say anything to her or look at her for that matter. This makes you seem mysterious, and will heighten her erotic desires. Drive to a deserted location. Whip out you cock and say, "dinner is served" or "here is the party bitch". Women love spontaneous men, and since she is already so into you, she should be all over your knob. Score!