January 26, 2006

Very Offensive Jokes

If you are like me, you enjoy getting a reaction out of people... and your right testicle is slightly larger than your left.

Now no one can say for sure if an ability for humor is something you are born with like saliva, or something you acquire later on in life, like an extensive knowledge of tantric sex. Lets hope for your sake it is the later, because you are about to get a lesson in being incredibly funny.

One of the easiest ways to be humorous is to tell highly offensive jokes. Below I have listed my complete repertoire of offensive jokes, use them at your own discretion. And yes I know there are many more dead baby jokes, but I think that using too many of those is crass and conveys a poor social upbringing.

Q: What's the difference between onions and hookers?
A: I don't cry when I chop up hookers.

Q: What's the best part about having sex with twenty-two year olds?
A: There's twenty of them.

Q: What is the worst part about eating bald pussy?
A: Putting the diaper back on.

Q: What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood?
A: I can't gargle with sand.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: You don't wear boots when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and give him a blowjob.

Q: What is the difference between a mansion and 10 year old?
A: I have never been inside a mansion.

Q: What do call the worthless flesh around a pussy?
A: A woman.

Q: Before your baby died, what did you often fantasize it would become?
A: The President of the United States.

Q: What does 80 year old pussy taste like?
A: Depends!

Q: What is the best part about having sex with a 12 year old in the shower?
A: You can slick her hair back and pretend she is 8.

Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would also know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.

Q: What did the clown say to your dead baby?
A: The clown only fucked your dead baby. He didn't say much.

Q: What turns a fruit into a vegetable?

Q: What is better than having sex with a 10 year old Vietnamese boy?
A: Nothing!

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Q: What do you get when you stab a baby with a knife?
A: An erection.

Q: What's the most popular pick up line at the gay bar?
A: May I push in your stool?

Q: How do you make a ten year old girl cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on her Teddy Bear.

Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A pounding sensation in the ass.

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown suit!

Q: What do lesbians do for fun when they are on their period?
A: Finger-paint.

Q: What is black and blue and hates to have sex?
A: The 7 year old in my trunk.

Q: How does a redneck mother know when her daughter is on the rag?
A: Her son's dick tastes funny.

Q: How many times does a baby spin in a microwave before it explodes?
A: I dunno. Always too busy masturbating to notice.

Q: What is the worst part about having sex with a 3 yr old?
A: Wiping the blood off your clown shoes.

posted by John 4:11PM