Advice Archive

I ah....I dont really know how to say this but, Im a gay man. I've been gay most of my life but no one knows, not even my parents or closest friends. I having trouble expressing my feelings and would really like some advice as how i can over come my fears. I also like spending my spare time at the local swimming pool admiring the young boys as they gracefully glide through the water, i was wondering if this is sick or perverted of me to be doing such things. Sometimes i will release myself in the pool and watch the young chaps swim through my excrement, this is quite a turn on and i would like to know if i should stop this sort of behavior. Please reply im looking forward to your advice.

Though I am not a gay, I may still be able to help you. I think the best way to come out to your parents and friends is to have a party. Call it a "Fag Bash", no wait that has a negative connotation, how about a "Queertillion". Whatever you call it, make sure it is FABULOUS!

Now as far as you pissing on young boys in the pool goes. If I were you, I would check the pool rules to see if it is permitted. Just don't run around the pool to look at them mister.

When I dance with black girls I always get a boner, and its realy embarrasign. What should I do?

Nigga please! When you are grindin up on a sista and you feel the boner coming on, drop down and get your eagle on. That will save you the embarrassment fo sho.

I found out that my live in boyfriend goes online sites like craigs list for erotic massages. I confronted him about this and he denied it. I know he still does it while I am at work. I definiteley know he gets blowjobs from the girls not sure about sex. I feel this is cheating. What do you think?

If he pays for it, it is not cheating, it is shopping.

When I read your site I touch myself. Is this normal?

This was sent by a guy... and yes it is normal.

Is masturbating 9 times in a day too much?

No, your balls and sometimes cramping in your forearms tell you when you have masturbated too much.

my girlfriend and i broke up two times and now she wants to get back with me again wat should i do?

Piss in her mouth, and whatever you do don't move on.

k. I am newly out of a 2 1/2 yr. relationship and we were engaged and living togather. I swore I would never "date" again. Ive been doing my thing and had meaningless and sometimes regretable sex....which hey, gotta love that right?!?! But I met this guy at the bank where I do my deposits.... and I feel like a gitty school girl whenever I see him, He actually came in to my work the other day to say hello and we talk and flirt every time I go to the bank......YET HE HASN'T asked for my #. He keeps saying he wants to hang out....but then nothing happens. God tell me hes not gay and Im gonna grow the balls to give him my # and make a jack ass of my self. I know im hot and I can pretty much get whoever I want, so why is this guy that i ACTUALLY have a crush on bein all weird.....or am I just a hoe and he can probably smell it from a mile away?!?!? j/k. What should I do?

I like the way you type.... you sound smart.... He just showed up at Scores huh? Your banking involves depositing a large quantity on damp ones am I right? Everyone knows not to ask a stripper for her number so you are going to have to take the initiative. Next time he stops in for a lap dance/handjob write your number on a piece of paper smash it between your tits and drop it into his mouth. Hopefully your hoe stench will not be acting up that day.

I love white guys, and I'm a black girl with skin of caramel. But, everytime I bring home a white dude to my parents they always say " oh hell no, get that cracker jack out of my house, wtf u think u doin bringin a white boy home?" I don't know why, but I love a little milk in my life but no one approves. What should I do?

Nigga please! You are just trying to get back at your father for not paying attention to you. So you find the whitest white boys you can, and parade those crackas in front of pops. The white girl equivalent of you is a fat girl, but you sound supa fly. Holla at cha boy.

i'm 34 years old and my voice is as high as a choir boy what should i do?

Go on American Idol.

My boyfriend told everyone that we had sex but we never did...what should i do?

Have sex with me. That'll learn him.

My boyfriend pulled a stupid stunt and PRETEND dumped me, we go to different schools so i don't see him as often and recently it's been raining men. The day he fake dumped me, i started to really a notice a guy from school and now i have feelings for the both of them, what should i do?

Have sex with me. That'll learn him.

I cannot believe you are actually stupid enough to think that he "pretend" dumped you. You mean he dumped you and then changed his mind when the hotter girl he thought he could get turned him down. Don't give me that "feelings" bullshit, you messed around with some guy and you want to keep doing it. Well go ahead it seems like you sufficiently morally justified it to yourself anyway.

What u do if u like someone thats 1 yr younger than u and u dont think they notice u?

Pacify her with candy, then cum on her feet.

Recently I got a piercing in my foreskin. I really enjoy it, and so does my girl friend cause she cums alot more often when we have sex. But we were having sex the other night and I accidently ripped my foreskin and I bled on her. I went to hospital and I havnt spoken to her since should I get back together with her or what should i do?

Be a gentleman and fuck her when she is on her period to even things out.

What is your take on an interracial couple?

They're awesome as long as the guy is white. Haha just kidding, if she is fat the girl can be white too.

How do I leave a married man?

Ok listen closely this has to be handled just right. First, shit on his car. Ideally it should be something solid, you want to keep this classy. Then stick a used tampon in the exhaust pipe. Now the tampon does not have to be yours, but it is vital that it is used. Next, strip naked and perform the opening dance sequence to NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye". Finally, murder any children he may have and set his house on fire.

Am I misstaken, or has the numbers of good girls gone down savagely? I totaly am not into gitting a gf that is a drug fend or a drunk. That could be just me, but I dont think so. Just seems now adays most girls are sluts, drug ads or drunks... And the ones that arnt are .. well.. fugly for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a shallow guy, but in saying that I dont see the point of gitting with some chick that you don't find attractove just to get your dick wet. I have been with all that prime action in partys and all that, but I'm tryin to move on to someone that isnt a ditz or perm-a-fryed. Some guys I know suggested church or something like that, but I don't want a girl like that. I just want a normal girl that isnt into the hardcore drugs and isnt a drunk. Weed, granted. As long as not a stoner. But anything else in bad in my books, cuz I'm past that point in my life. I donno what I really am asking, just lookin to see what you think about the uprise of sluts drunks and drug ads are in females. Am I just on crack and cant see the pure ones around? Or am I just going to the wrong place's or what. I donno, gimmie a reply or w/e.

Dude u r totilly rite deez girls r on crack and shit. Ever girl i meat iz covered in seamon, has tracks all ova her arms, and iz chuggin Jack Danials. Its like were da nice girls for us guys u no?

So my friends and I made a gravity bong out of a five gallon bucket...haven't tried it yet, but they say it's impossible to clear the whole thing....should I try?

Get a job you fucking hippie. Also, do some manly drugs you little pussy like crack, black tar heroin, or O-dogg.

I have been with my girlfriend for about a a year and a half, we went far after about 2 months and found out something didnt fit. so we have tried alternatives, anal, and other things, but its about due time. the Doc said it required surgery and she is scared of it. to make a long story short, she doesnt want to get it fixed yet, what should i do?

This question honestly perplexed me. I did not know what the fuck you were talking about. I considered the possibility of you being a huge black guy fucking an Asian midget. I finally concluded that you are fucking a post op tranny, in which case you are a faggot. You need to find Jesus.

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