September 11, 2006

Operation Stingray

The death of the beloved croc hunter Steve Irwin has left the world in mourning. No one was better at putting cocky animals in their place then old Steve. However the real tragedy is that the stingray that cowardly sneak attacked him appears to have gotten away with it. What sort of message are we sending the animal kingdom if we do nothing in response to this barbarous act.

Stingrays are a menace and they contribute nothing to society. Think about it. When was the last time a stingray mowed your lawn or provided you with sound financial advice? Can't think of one can you? Well you're not alone. I talked with dozens of people and not one could think of an instance in which a stingray affected their lives in a positive way.


The so-called stingray experts try to tell people that "as long as you don't agitate them stingrays are harmless". Like I'm going to go out of my way not to agitate stingrays. Last time I checked I was a human and they were FUCKING STINGRAYS! They are in no position to be issuing ultimatums.

The liberal media keeps putting on these stingray apologists. They are trying to spin this as a freak accident, and not what it clearly is� an act of war! Appeasement didn't work at Munich, and it is not going to start working now. I'm not saying that stingrays are as bad as Hitler� I'm saying they are much worse! Stingrays are like a Nazi Taliban.

The best course of action is to respond by killing every stingray we can get our hands on. Extra points if you skewer them with their own barbs. We'll show them who is king of the jungle!

Remember stingrays have already shown that they would kill you and everyone you love if they got half chance so show no mercy! I'm pretty sure this is what Steve Irwin would want us to do.

posted by John 12:22PM