May 03, 2005

Drinking Alone

Current Mood: Drunk

10:42 PM
Its that time of the year again. My roommates have all gone home, and once again, it has fallen upon me to consume all the remaining alcohol in our apartment. Last year this resulted in disaster with me getting shitfaced and IMing (yes I am a drunk IMer not dialer, don't ask me why) an ex girlfriend confessing my undying love and proposing marriage. This year we shall see what happens. I am in the midst of it right now, and since there are no TVs left in the apartment, I am online. I am drinking heavily I have a quarter bottle of SoCo, a quarter handle of Captain, and 3 beers to finish. I have to get up early to drive home, so I am drinking as fast as I can.

11:07 PM
Ex's are online as I speak and I have just finished the SoCo. This is dangerous territory. Distraction time. Touch your penis and surf the web.

11:10 PM
I get some funny hits from search engines. You people are a bunch of freaks. Here are my favorite keywords.

girls who masturbate their ass
stuff her box
pretty assses
what college has the hottest girls
angry retard
happy retard
college filthy coeds fsu
blacks on blondes cali clip
peeing in the dark
sex in car blog
mexican donkey show
dh holmes clock stolen (no idea what this means)
fsu academic reputation (haha I am influential)
sub sluts
what is verginity
spontaneous surprises for her (this refers to this page, the bottom of the page)
advice on how to masturbate for girls (lol)
lose 10 pounds in 5 days
playful ass smack
dean cain penis size
angers pedophilia fuck

11:34 PM
Alright girlfriends are now offline. A lot of alcohol too consume, time to stop typing and get down to bizness.

11:39 PM
FUCK! Why does this bitch keep signing back on? She is taunting me. Daring me to IM with something stupid.

11:55 AM
You know my grandpa died this weekend. Also, my roommates for four years moved away. I am extremely vulnerable right now... lets make out.

12:07 AM
My grandpa was a really nice guy. He did not have an exceptional character; he was just a solid person. Once due to senility and drunkenness, he told the whole family that he is huge. He said doctors have always marveled at the size of his member. So at least I carry the gene for a huge wang. Don't think I am going to share that story at the funeral.

12:22 AM
I told myself I wouldn't talk about real personal shit on here. I don't know if I am going to post this shit. It isn't funny; accept in a pathetic sort of way. Why the fuck are you still reading this shit. I am really drunk and rambling.

12:52 AM
LOL I am convincing my little brothers friend to take me with him to high school parties. I am going to check IDs if a girl wants to hook up with me. Prison is not sexy.

1:44 AM
I am ridiculous. Going to bed.

posted by John 1:50AM